An Effeiciently Priced Intervention
by YourAngstyNeighborhoodEmoTeen
Summary: Dave is cursed with a condition that leaves him constantly astounded by all around him to the extent it hinders his interaction with his friends and family. Rose sets out to "cure" him, but she finds that everyone must instead accept Dave for his differences, rather than try to change him.


From the age of thirteen Dave Strider seemed to have everything going for him, he was a talented artist, had two dream jobs already picked out, (elite rapper/DJ and comic illustrator) and did decently in school. His close circle of friends consisted of an otaku dork from Washington named John, a trained hunter named Jade, and Rose who contained a grandiose knowledge of any and all things gothic, and was essentially Dave's home therapist in times of need.

Out of the entire group Dave was the one paid the least amount of concern on a general basis, he was always so collected and presented himself as calm and cool at all times possible. Only that man could casually play off screaming and flipping a small table in the middle of a bake sale at fifteen because someone accidentally bunmped his cupcake out of his hand. As the cupcake lay emotionally and flavourlessly dead inside, so was Dave, he became one with the cupcake and voiced its cries of agony to all present, this earned him two complimentary cupcakes, from John's older cousin Jane, for his confectionery troubles.

This was the first of many outbursts, throughout his teen years Dave rapidly became surprised by events that would typically illicit nothing more than a huff or at the most a small remark from most people. The world slowly became more amazing as he began to be increasingly astounded by average daily events, the world was just so fricking vast! His growing condition never escaped Rose's notice but it didn't seem necessary to bring up for the first while after it had been surfacing, whatever Dave did in his spare time wasn't interrupting his schedule or schoolwork so she left it be. Eventually it progressed to the point that he could no longer process his priorities and during the lunches out with his friends he would stop and stare at something simple like a tree for nearly half an hour. They couldn't jostle him out of this state until he decided the task was truly finished. When he did, they would question why he had done such an odd thing for such an unnecessary amount of time, and he would break out into an intensely descriptive rant about all he had learned while staring at the tree, and how he had grown, not just as a man, but as a human being. Saying that any and all who desired should partake in this splendid discovery and uncover their inner being.

Rose had no idea what to make of his psychological condition at this point. She began hanging out with him more often to have secret sessions with him in hopes she could uncover what had happened to her younger brother. All she found was that she couldn't conduct these experiments around anything even slightly alluring or sparking of interest or Dave would branch off and stare at that for the rest of the session.

After having exhausted multiple attempts at salvaging his creative mind, she found a solution. Rose spoke with Dave about many objects or ideals and jotted down those which he found of interest, then she and the rest of Dave's close friends gathered up as much from the list as they could and placed it all into Dave's room while he was out. Bro had let them in with delight because he was sick of Dave grabbing doritos right out of his hand and just staring at them, even if it was ironic the plan would no longer give him an excuse if it worked.

Dave was, of course, immediately enveloped by the sheer brilliance and extravagant mess aimlessly littering his sleeping quarters. He didn't leave his room for anything except to use the bathroom for two entire weeks except, surviving on food and beverages slipped through the door by Bro. Rose came by to check on his progress after a month, when Dave had been openly emerging again and showing less general intrigue by any items he encountered. Rose took this as a sign of progress, but it slowly revealed to be a lack thereof.

At the age of 19, Dave often appeared bored and depressed even when surrounded by the cheery atmosphere of his friends. Rose had unintentionally desensitised him to any and all things that brought him surreal surpise and therefore, joy. John and Jade had a hard time dealing with this new Dave and Rose knew Dave wasn't happy with his current state either.

Rose knew they'd have to end up taking drastic measures in the end, but she was unsure how to go about it.

* * *

"Well, intervention anyone?" Jade suggested.

"Once we have an idea what were going to do with him then, yes, that would be a proper step." Rose said bitterly.

"... mental institution?" John said quietly.

"No, that would only worsen his condition. It'd be depraving him of anything containing even mild interest to him, probably resulting in him committing suicide." Rose responded.

"Jesus Rose," John said a bit disturbed by her comment.

"I think she's right though, we have to put him in an environment where he can be constantly astounded by everything for him to be truly happy," Jade added.

"What about that cornerstore down the street? Its prices are so ridiculous you can't help but have multiple life realizations after walking through the door." John said.

Jade and Rose collectively whipped their gazes to John, "What does that have to do with anything?" Jade snapped at him.

"Sorry, just... I've been taking marketing and comedy classes lately and they've been melding into one horrible talent of economic jokes for me.

"That's not a bad idea," Rose responded quietly.

"... Seriously?" Jade questioned, aghast, "were trying to cheer him up, not add overpriced shit to his grocery list of already ironically overpriced shit."

"If we put him in an environment where he's constantly surrounded by incredibly affordable prices, the opposite of John's idea, it may spark intrigue from him continuously." Rose stated, looking optimistic.

"There's no such thing as a phenomenally priced store in America, Rose." John chimed in.

"Maybe not here... but Canada. Has anyone here heard of the fabled Walmart?" Rose inquired to the two.

"Oh yeah! And we could just leave him there since it's for health reasons, and healthcare in Canada's free!" Jade said enthusiastically.

"I think that's how we'll handle this then, agreed?" Rose said.

John and Jade nodded in unison.

* * *

Jade hosted the intervention for Dave at her house, John, Rose, and Dave's brother attended. Rose told him of a wondrous place called Walmart. Seeing if it would spark anything within him, and it did, just the slightest raising of his eyebrows told her he was interested. It was worth a try. They flew him over to a Walmart in Canada, checking that the prices were regularly amazing. They stood by his side at the door that read enter on the glass above it. With a slight push, Rose encouraged Dave onward. From the minute he reached the inside he was drawn in by the bargains, whispering a last, an enclosing, "oh my," before sealing his fate behind the doors to be greeted for the first and last time by the Walmart worker. Paid exclusively to greet those doomed to live the rest of their lives behind closed, impressively priced doors.


End file.
